Financial abuse: when money becomes control

Financial abuse — someone taking away your access to money, manipulating your financial decisions, or using your money without your consent — can take many forms, and Moneysmart's financial abuse page describes it plainly as a type of family and domestic violence. People who use coercive control — a pattern of behaviour that dominates another person's life — may use financial abuse as part of that behaviour. It can occur at any stage of a relationship, including after it has ended, and it may sit alongside other kinds of violence: physical, sexual, emotional.

The patterns are quieter than the word "abuse" suggests, which is part of why Moneysmart says it is often hard to recognise. It might be someone restricting your access to bank accounts, credit cards or cash, or pressuring you to ask permission before spending your own money. It might be money used or accessed without your consent, large amounts withdrawn or transferred from a joint account, or a refusal to contribute to shared costs or child support. It can reach into paperwork: pressure to sign documents, take on a debt or change your will; your name taken off accounts without your knowledge; a power of attorney misused against your interests; your phone or internet logins used to apply for loans or services in your name. And it can reach into your independence — controlling or limiting your ability to work, earn income or get support — or into how you feel, by making you feel guilty, foolish or afraid about how you manage money.

If some of this sounds familiar, two of Moneysmart's plainest sentences are worth holding onto: financial abuse can happen to anyone — the abuser could be a partner, a family member, a carer or a friend — and financial abuse is never your fault. It can leave you feeling vulnerable, isolated, depressed and anxious, which is exactly why the help in the last section of this page is free and confidential. One quiet detail says a lot: Moneysmart's own financial abuse page carries a "Quick exit" button that leaves the page instantly, an acknowledgement that for some readers, even the reading needs to stay private.

Elder financial abuse — when someone in a position of trust takes advantage of their role, or causes financial harm to an older adult — is the version of this that Moneysmart singles out for older Australians. It is one form of elder abuse, which also covers physical, emotional and sexual abuse, and it can affect any older person. The position of trust is what makes it hard: the pressure usually comes from someone close, and it rarely announces itself as pressure.

Moneysmart's signs are short and concrete. Someone applying pressure, threats or intimidation. Someone misusing or stealing an older person's money, possessions or assets. Someone pressuring them to make, change or sign legal documents — the shape that pressure over a will, a loan guarantee or a power of attorney takes. And someone failing to deliver care they promised in return for money or assets already handed over. None of these requires shouting; a hint that visits might stop, repeated often enough, can do the same work.

The harm runs past the money itself. Moneysmart notes that beyond the financial loss, elder financial abuse can restrict an older person's access to safe housing, proper nutrition and medical care, and can lead to serious emotional effects like anxiety and depression. If this is close to you — as the older person, or as someone worried about one — the support lines in the help section below include services built specifically for it: the national elder abuse helpline and an advocacy network for people in the aged care system.

The most protective structure is the simplest: an account only you can use. A joint account — a bank account more than one person can use — makes shared costs easier, but Moneysmart's joint accounts page is blunt about the trade: the joint account holder can take out any money you put into the account. Its own cautionary example ends with the account holder opening a separate account in his own name and moving his bills to direct debits from there. An account of your own, with money arriving into it, is money the other person cannot reach.

If you do share an account, it helps to know exactly how it is set up, because joint accounts are not all wired the same way. Some need only one account holder's signature to use the money; others need everyone to sign — and on a one-signature account, funds can leave without your involvement. Transaction accounts come with debit cards each holder can spend on, so it matters who holds one. The debts cut the same way as the money: Moneysmart says joint account holders share liability for debts connected to the account, and that another holder running up debt could harm your credit report. That is one reason checking your own credit report — the record of loans and credit in your name, which Moneysmart says you can check for free — is a quiet, powerful habit: it is where a loan someone else applied for with your logins would surface. Closing a joint account, for the record, needs every holder to agree.

Two more habits follow straight from the warning signs. Because a listed sign of abuse is someone using your phone or internet logins to apply for loans or services in your name, your logins, passwords and PINs are worth treating as yours alone — even in a relationship where everything else is shared. And because another listed sign is pressure to sign documents, take on a debt or change your will, pressure itself is the signal: anyone rushing you past your own hesitation is telling you something. Moneysmart's route when a document or debt is already in play is free legal advice — the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007 can help you obtain it. None of these steps requires an announcement or a confrontation; they are just structure that keeps your money reachable by you.

Moneysmart's first suggestion surprises people: don't be afraid to reach out to your bank or financial provider. Some providers have a dedicated specialist team to talk through your needs and safely help you manage your finances — and, in Moneysmart's words, your provider won't ask for your life story. Banks and insurers are committed to taking extra care with customers experiencing vulnerability, including financial abuse, family and domestic violence, and elder abuse. If loan repayments are the pressure point, lenders also offer financial hardship assistance — a formal process for changing your repayments when you're struggling, covered in Hardship help.

For the money side, a financial counsellor — a skilled professional who gives free, practical advice and support to people struggling with bills and debt, through not-for-profit community organisations — is the profession built for this. Moneysmart's financial counselling page describes what they do: assess your situation, negotiate with creditors, government agencies and utilities, step in if debt collectors are harassing you, and refer you to legal, accommodation, health and crisis services. The service is always free and confidential — you never need to pay, and businesses that charge for it are debt consolidation companies, not financial counsellors. The way in is the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007, weekdays — and if debts were run up in your name or you were coerced into them, that same number is Moneysmart's route to obtaining free legal advice. The earlier you call, the more options you have.

Around those sit the free, confidential services Moneysmart lists for the abuse itself. In immediate danger, call 000. 1800RESPECT — counselling and support for anyone experiencing family and domestic violence and financial abuse — is on 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732, twenty-four hours a day. Lifeline offers crisis support on 13 11 14, and 13YARN, an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander run crisis line, is on 13 92 76. For older people there is 1800 ELDERHelp on 1800 353 374 and the Older Persons Advocacy Network on 1800 700 600. MensLine Australia counsels men on 1300 78 99 78, and Moneysmart notes there are also services for people who have chosen to be abusive and want to change — the Men's Referral Service, on 1300 766 491. Women's Legal Services Australia offers legal advice and referral for women. Nobody on any of these lines needs you to be certain it's abuse before you call.